Still In It: An Invitation to My Fellow Abled Kin
This is my attempt at confronting my own ableism and at inviting my own community members in confronting ableist norms.
This pursuit is largely in response to recognizing the lack of intersectional analysis of ableism in many social movement/political spaces, my recent experiences of supporting disabled client community members navigating the pandemic, and in reading You Are Not Entitled To Our Deaths: COVID, Abled Supremacy & Interdependence by Mia Mingus. I highly recommend all non-disabled folks and non-immunocompromised folks read this piece to resist the normalization of disabled deaths in this pandemic.
A gentle reminder that non-disabled folks who value social justice and collective liberation can enjoy many aspects of our lives without disregarding collective safety and the safety of our disabled & immunocompromised kin.
Black and white binary thinking makes us believe that we either pretend that this raging pandemic is no longer a problem OR we have to isolate ourselves at home and never go out in Disability Solidarity. In the recognition that doing the latter is not sustainable for most (myself included), I have been witnessing many of my community members lean into abled indulgence (Mia Mingus) — choosing our individuals desires and wants over collective safety and disabled peoples’ lives. And I get it. This binary thinking is so prevalent and institutions/governments are so strongly trying to convince us that the pandemic is no longer a problem (ie. an abled society’s problem).
I have been attempting to take a more grey-zone approach where I make decisions around my social interactions/exposures, mindful of risk to collective safety. The ask by our disabled kin is not to sacrifice every aspect of our life and isolate ourselves the way they have to, but to make decisions based on the knowledge of interdependence and interconnectedness, to resist choosing individual abled indulgence over disabled lives and collective safety too often.
I share my practices as an example of imperfect and yet intentional safety practices. This is what feels doable and sustainable for me, given that I’m prepared to “live in a pandemic” for several more years to come. Also, I will note that I am not in direct in-person contact with any immunocompromised folks in my life that I know of.
I’m triple vaxxed and wear K94 masks in all public indoor spaces and crowded outdoor spaces. The rest of my household is the same. 3 out of 4 of us work from home. My dad works in an office where everyone is masked.
Right now in the summer, I eat out at restaurants and cafes 1-2x a week: usually on a patio outdoors, in less crowded spaces, ideally where FOH staff are masked, and I keep my mask on unless I’m literally eating.
I see a friend or two indoors 1-2x a week. They are triple vaxxed and continue to mask in public indoor spaces. I ask my friends (and do the same myself) to avoid exposing (unmasked indoors) themselves to non-household people (or at least larger groups) for 3-4 days leading up to our hang. I might see a friend for an outdoor walk more often, but generally, I don’t see people outside of my household more than 2-3 times a week.
I generally don’t go to the gym or large indoor gatherings. If I do, it’s brief, always with my mask on, and I stay at home and refrain from exposing non-household people for a few days after to assess for symptoms.
I communicate my safety precautions and requests with every person I’m exposed to (unmasked indoors or outdoors in close proximity) and ask about their safety practices and requests. We have explicit conversations around any exposures 3-4 days leading up to our interaction such that consent is informed. Rapid tests, mask-wearing, outdoor/indoor meetings are all discussed as possibilities. (These conversations are crucial in embodying informed consent, which applies to so much more beyond sexual engagements. Cultivating consent culture applies beyond dismantling rape culture and is crucial in reducing all types of harm.)
My practices are not perfect. I do still add to the collective risk. My current practices would significantly shift if I had immunocompromised folks directly in my life who I saw in person. And, I have been having harder conversations, missing out on gatherings, and refraining from seeing some friends in person due to a lack of alignment in safety practices or a lack of clarity around informed consent.
When the state fails disabled folks (as it does), community members have a role to play in collective safety and while imperfect, this is my small part. As Mia Mingus writes, transformative justice teaches us that “systemic change alone is not enough” and communities and individuals need to change too. Just because the state is not doing its part, doesn’t mean we as community members and individuals are absolved of our responsibilities for cultivating collective safety in our everyday interactions.
We do our small part to embody our values for social justice and collective liberation, even if imperfectly, such that we do not perpetrate the disposability of our disabled kin and elders.
In the words of Mia Mingus, may we frame pandemic safety practices as part of our political commitment to interdependence, disability justice and solidarity.